Recently, a video clip was released from Salma Hayek’s “good will” trip to Sierra Leone in which she was filmed nursing a malnourished child. Salma has a baby of her own and was immediately interested in giving what she had immediately available to the child in need.
When you reach out to meet the needs of a person near you, do you worry about how society might judge your action?
This video has stirred up a bit of an outrage, but not for the reasons I expected. I rarely see The Young Turks give any sort of groundbreaking commentary on society but they do a great job at portraying two of the most popular reactions to the original video. (The video doesn’t *show anything* so unless you hate The Young Turks with a passion, check it out)
Cenk has the common male reaction of ”Ooooh, boobs. That baby is so lucky!” while not referring to the nutritive value of the exchange. If you listened well during the clip, you could also hear his comments and murmurs whenever Salma’s breasts were at all visible.
What’s the answer to Cenk’s apparent issue? Boobs were not made for guys. Whether your believe in Creationism, Evolution, or the Obama Created Everything theory, there is no evidence that breasts are meant to serve a function after offspring are weaned.
Anna hedges a bit more in her response but she makes it quite clear that, were she in the same situation as Salma, Anna would not be nursing any child other than her own. She did not offer any concern over the possible danger the child would be in if Salma had a communicable disease. Her only other remark is that Salma is sharing her “best assets” with the people of Sierra Leone by exposing herself.
Have we as a society really become so caught up in viewing every aspect of existence in a sexual light that we are no longer able to see the beauty of one person reaching out to another and meeting a dramatic need?
Salma also shares a story about her grandmother taking similar action many years earlier upon meeting a starving woman with a hungry baby on the street. The grandmother, a young woman with a nursing baby at the time, took the child and nursed it until it stopped crying and fell asleep.
Salma did the same thing when she had the chance and I believe she’s got the right idea when it comes to being available and sharing willingly.
Do you?
photo credit: poisonli
Faced with the same circumstance as Salma, I am not so sure what I would have done instinctively or intuitively as a participant.
As an observer however, I think that what Salma did was a true gift of giving one’s self to another human being without thought…that it was raw and from her heart is remarkable!
All it takes is a moment to care, to give and to want more for others than you want for yourself.
I say we should all learn and mirror Salma!
Thanks, Seth, for another wonderful post!:)
Best Always,
Henie
Does it make a difference knowing that she had a child the exact same age as the one she was nursing in Africa?
I love the part where she says that she hopes, above all, that her daughter grows up to be a generous and kind person. That’s the way! =)
Your kind words are always a joy, Henie!
Great post! Thanks for sharing this.
I think what Salma did was an amazing gift. I would hope that I would do the same in a similar situation. Certainly, I can’t imagine ignoring the needs of a starving child while I have the means to help.
First of all, great post, great you can see things this way and not only as an actress and what she shows.
It’s encouraging to see Salma’s generosity. In fact, having a child changes your view of the world and I think, as a mother, it’s very difficult to be indifferent to any child in distress, particularly a hungry child. I would like to say I would do the same she has done, I’m not sure, because I’m a little shy, but its great of her to do this. She is Mexican (like me) but I didn’t like her before. This makes me see her in a new way.
I was especially impressed with Salma’s question about whether or not she was doing a disservice to her child by giving away “her child’s milk” to another needy child.
In this case, it wasn’t a choice of one baby starving in order for the other to be fed. But I think its very easy to take that stance when deciding not to give something to a person in need. Instead of saying “I can’t help this person because my kids would go without food” could it often be that giving up something simple, like drinking soft drinks, would provide enough money to pay for a few needy children to survive?
Just as Salma is intent on teaching her child to be a generous person, I think there’s more we can all do to be generous ourselves and teach the same to the people we can influence.
I’m glad you’ve changed your perspective on Salma a bit. I know it helped me to see her in a more positive light as well! =)
That is awesome! That is what is meant by the “Human Community”. Too many people are not willing to help with their own resources to make the world a better place. She is not one of those people. She could have been sitting on a beach sucking down drinks or something. But she went to Africa and helped a child that could not feed themselves.
If you see someone in need why not help them out.
Africa has some nice beaches!!! =)
I like your final point though. Why not help them out? I know I’ve been able to come up with many reasons not to help people out in the past. Not as a logical write-reasons-down-on-a-list computed sort of decision, but the kind of hollow reaction that doesn’t take every angle into consideration.
It’s a change of perspective that I’ve made progress in, but I know I need to improve. Establishing a habit of reaching out when I have a resource and another has a need has made my life a richer experience and allowed me to care less about money as I discover different kinds of wealth!
Why not help them out? Yes, why not?!
Wonderful story, thanks for sharing it. I definitely would have done the same thing in that situation, in fact, I have friends who have done the same thing! To be able to give of ones self so freely is a gift – very admirable indeed.
I think the real question you’re raising though is about “society” and it’s sometimes illogical view of right and wrong.
Not right and wrong so much as how our society has made sweeping judgments about how we should perceive things.
In terms of Salma’s actions, I think the terms that best address the situation are “why or why not” instead of “Is it right or wrong”.
Yes, perception. We have allowed society to influence our perceptions. No one makes us do anything – we chose. I agree – when faced with a choice to help or not help another human being – the answer to why not better be a good one!
Seth, thank you for your insights into not only Salma’s actions, but the Young Turks’ REactions.
I’m struck both in the video and in the comments posted here about how this is a very deeply true illustration of the difference between an abundance mentality and a scarcity mentality.
Beautiful.
It is beautiful, isn’t it? =)
I’m continually encouraged by how many brilliant people take the time to join in these conversations!
I did pause and reflect on your question, Seth. I like to think that I would have done the same. I have two kids of my own. When I was nursing them, I remember my body being very sensitive, producing milk at times when I normally fed my baby and also when I was around other babies around the same age as mine that started crying. I was always told that the more the baby feeds, the more milk a mom will produce. I like that this supports the idea that there’s enough for everyone!!!
Ria, that is a truly wonderful example. I can’t begin to fathom what it’s like to give birth and have such a connection with brand-new person. I know a bit about other forms of connection and relationships, but nothing of the deeply organic type of connection that I see between a mother and her child. Thank you for sharing. I really do hope that more people take up the thinking that as we give, more will be supplied. =)
I understand the intention in this post but take some exception to its claims.
I don’t see that either Cenk or Anna reinforce an idea that sexuality of women is permeating a biological function. It is would be helpful to be familiar with the Young Turks and realize that much of their commentary during the “entertainment hour” is done tongue in cheek. Cenk purposely makes inflated comments and often plays devil’s advocate in an attempt to drum up conversation and more notably attention for the show. That being said, after the clip, Cenk notes that what she is doing is great and that he is just kidding about being “turned on” and says that in that context there is no way he can find that sexual. There-in lies my major problem with the assumptive point made in the above post, which is that a woman’s breasts only serve a biological purpose and serve no need other than nutrient providers for newborns.
A Woman’s breasts have a primary function of providing nutrition to their children. We are all aware of the hormonal changes that occur with child birth which bring about the creation of milk. However, we also should not ignore the very real necessity they serve in the attraction and subsequent mating of the human species. Given that the above post says “Whether your believe in Creationism, Evolution, or the Obama Created Everything theory, there is no evidence that breasts are meant to serve a function after offspring are weaned.” I am going going to attack this from a scientific and sociological standpoint rather than a religious view.
Consider the animal kingdom. Most animals have certain aspects in their physiology which allows them to attract a mate. These could be anything from coloring, feathers, smell, sound, or size in relation to other competing mates. Humans are no different than lower animals when it comes to basic sexual attraction.
Human attraction has evolved over the centuries, not in the sense of Darwin but rather what is viewed as attractive in the eyes of a society. This can most directly be attributed to the use of higher brain functions which allow us to make judgment on what traits are more attractive in a mate. Things like education, intelligence, and success are markers of contemporary attractors which come into play in everyday courtship. However, we can also find instances where lower brain selectors come into play. These have been documented in scientific studies. Examples include pheromones, face and body shape, and even voice tonality.
What can we conclude from this? Breasts are a subconscious signal to the male brain that a female is sexually mature and is therefore a suitable partner for courtship. Other bodily features including hips and posterior are also lower brain triggers that drive a male to desire a female. Obviously there are personal preferences in our species, again related to higher brain function, but there are subconscious cues which drive us to find the female figure attractive.
Lets not make a comment on society that says one mans tongue in cheek comments represent an atypical view of female sexuality.
I really appreciate all the effort you put into your reply. Your summary of how a woman’s body shape affects how potential partners perceive her was nothing less than eloquent.
However, I am familiar with The Young Turks show and did not grab the video out of some random bag of Salma Hayek boob clips. I’m sure Cenk would be delighted that you’re sticking up for him…but he’s a bit of a blind pig in this segment. He tries to back away from his comments but fails by offering the utterly inane remark that she is “just milking the baby”. MILKING THE BABY.
If you step away from your loyalty to the really great job TYT have done in building a media presence and look at how this segment played out, I think you’ll see that, like I noticed, any hope of progressive commentary was lost on them. But who was looking for that from them in the first place? Not me.
You said it perfectly: Cenk’s comments, although tongue in cheek, do not misrepresent a typical view of female sexuality.
Which leads me to ask: Where were you trying to go with all this?
Well, Seth…
If she didn’t have a child the same age, there wouldn’t be any milk to give away…just saying! :~)
I do wonder though if Salma’s daughter will carry on the family tradition of “breast-giving?” What do you think? (winking)
Ciao!
She did the absolutely most humane and selfless thing imaginable in this situation.
END of story.
3 points to your side for being emphatic! =)
I think she did okay as well.
Wow I am quite amazed. As a mother who has not long stopped breast-feeding I am extremely impressed with her sharing such a personal experience with a child other than her own. I so hope that I would have had it in me to do that!
Like most of the other commenters here, I thought what Salma did was essentially a lovely, selfless act of generosity, particularly when you consider the added humanity of her briefly second-guessing herself, and then her resolution to help based on her desire to raise a generous, loving child. Truly, she seems to be a sweet, kind-hearted person and there’s really nothing more important in my book.
That’s very well-put! I was really impressed by her explanation of the second-guess as well. Quite refreshing to hear from a “celeb” actually! =)
Salma, acted instinctively I am so sure. In some cultures and that which Salma grew up in…Breast giving or La Leche as some call it is not uncommon. In many countries if a Mother cannot nurse her baby because of health reasons, unable to manufacture milk , or the Mother passes away…Another Mother who has given birth will nurse the child without a second thought. I wonder if Salma thought in her mind…”That starving little child could be my child?”
Salma, is a beautiful soul. Her generous spirit and compassionate heart seems to permeate the air around her. I sometimes wonder if there is much ado about nothing? If Salma had been an ordinary person, nursing a very malnurished baby…No one would have thought much about it.
Yes! I think it was also a much bigger deal to Salma because the child was the same age-to the day-as her own daughter.
Yes, having a camera follow you around makes everything seem a little larger. Fortunately, Salma didn’t let that stop her from being generous.
The beauty of this gesture, one human being aiding another, is staggering in its simplicity. If only we all could make such a selfless choice each day.
Women who breast-feed other women’s babies are called “wet nurses.” They have existed since the dawn of time and they are normal, natural, and used to be prevalent. Am I the only one old enough here to remember them?
As for Salma, people seriously need to butt out here. In the 70s, breast became so natural to women we cast off our bras and said “these are mine, not yours, and I’ll do as I damned please with them.” It’s time women took back their breasts from the Hefneresque throngs of men who continue to see women as body parts that exist mainly for their entertainment and critique.
I don’t see guys dropping their pants for our inspection and letting us criticize what they’re doing with it. That’s because babies don’t grow up needing the male body part for succor and sustenance. For those men who didn’t get enough of the tit from Mom, or who need to reframe women as a set of parts to diminish them, take up some other oral fixation and leave us out of it.
We haven’t had many diseases since the dawn of time to worry about, but I get what you mean.
What is your response to Anna’s behavior? It’s not just Cenk who holds the social line on Salma.
Diana—while I’m not old enough to remember Wet Nurses, I certainly know about them. Wet Nurses have been a part of human history for as long as we’ve been giving birth so I agree, I don’t see what the big deal is (aside from the issue of communicable diseases).
This is true even here in the U.S. (*gasp* shocking, right? NO! Get over it!) when slaves were commonly used as Wet Nurses for the babies of white women. Maybe a lot of people (men?) don’t know this? Perhaps as a result, I think society (at least here in the U.S.) has become too wrapped up in the sexual representation of breasts. I’m 6 mo pregnant with my first so I guess I’ll find out fairly soon if my assumption is accurate and whether I would do the same thing as Salma. I’d like to think I would, provided it was ok with the mother.
Hi Christina!
If you read a bit further, you’ll see that Diana, you, and me are very much on the same page. She’d read the post, moved into the comments, and forgotten my stance in the post. Her initial reply was in response to a quick read while her later comments reflect a re-read of the initial content. Crazy, huh? I’ll take that any day though…I love it when people respond with heart! =)
I’m afraid we can’t only blame males for the point our society is at regarding breasts. A recent discussion over at the The Daily Blonde about a woman breastfeeding another woman’s child turned into such an out-of-control hooplah that after 100+ comments, she deleted the post entirely. It’s a very, very big deal to some women.
Congratulations on the upcoming baby! Definitely let us know if your perspective changes! =)
See…
http://www.breastfeeding-mom.com/wet-nurse.html
for some history of the wet nurse.
I’m not sure what you mean by “We haven’t had many diseases since the dawn of time to worry about” (?)
In the link I posted, they cover that issue by saying the Le Leche League recommends against wet nursing now because of disease. But my view is that jeopardy would trump caution in most emergency situations. You wouldn’t believe how easy it is for an infant to die. Then there’s the irreparable harm of malnutrition.
I breastfed two children. My daughter is currently breastfeeding my new granddaughter. My view of Salma’s act? Babies need milk. Salma was in Africa, like she said, and her choice was particular to the situation. It was heightened by her great-grandmother’s having told her of her own on-the-spot feeding of a starving infant. Salma was inspired to follow her great-grandmother’s instinctual generosity.
Just as I “risk” stopping at car accidents to provide (often bloody) first aid when necessary, I would have fed a hungry infant until other arrangements could be made. I agree with Hillary that it takes a village, and we are sorely lacking in village-mentality these days. Seems more like a mob-mentality sometimes.
But all that aside, you have to admit our culture is a little obsessed with the breast, right? Just Google Salma right now and you’ll see just how obsessed.
One of the most amazing things happens when a string of comments gets to any sort of length: the original post is forgotten.
Diana, please scroll to the top, read my post, and tell me what you think we’re actually disagreeing on.
Social view of breasts? check.
Salma’s action as a positive? check
Need for community? check, Diana, did you even read the title? Obviously we agree.
I’m delighted that this post struck a chord with you and I’m so very glad of your comments…but why are you yelling at me? The only person in this thread who possibly disagrees with you is Daniel…and even he makes a cloudy case.
Yep, by the time I commented I had forgotten your post.
I guess I was thinking, the baby was hungry, she fed it, what is the big deal and why is everybody talking about it?
I claim not guilty by reason of media frenzy.
Agreed! =)
For grandma to do what she did was an act of simple human love. For a celeb to do what she did, it was not only an act of human love, but additionally an opportunity to use her celebrity (and her fans’ boob obsession) to push a little more human understanding out into the world. Because she’s a famous beauty, Salma can make others more aware of world hunger than grandma could way back then.
I would have done the same thing in an instant – knowing that I do not have any communicable diseases. I believe, across the board, that the breastfeeding laws, the sexualization of breasts & breastfeeding and the rest of the malarkey we see around the world in this regard is pure sexism and misogyny. Thank you for writing this wonderful post.
The strange thing is…it’s not “around the world” as much as we might think. There’s a reason Salma didn’t think twice about her actions…and a lot of it has to do with her cultural background. It was a normal gift to her. Isn’t that great?
I also want to say this: the guy from the TYTs? Making it all worse – all he can think about are the boobs. Gross. He should be ashamed – and schooled.
“Ashamed – and schooled.” Well said, Julie! =) I rather expected his response. Anna’s seeming inability to either care or have a 5th+ grade response to the situation was a disappointment though. Like I said, an interesting social commentary based on their behavior, not their actions. =)