The Confession: I am blessed to know some of the coolest people alive. (That’s not the confession) However, in place of writing my Connected Communities post yesterday morning, I wallowed in self-doubt and discouragement. (That’s the confession) Stay with me, there’s a point to all this.
In the movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Cate Blanchett is hit by a car. The narrator recounts all the mindless actions leading up the the accident. With each event, he explains how a slight alteration would stop the accident from ever happening.
I played the narrator in my own mind. But hindsight is a dangerous thing. It’s very much like a hot tub. If you stay in for too long, you lose the health benefits and have only a sick stomach and headache to show for your effort. I needed to recognize that I’d studied the failure sufficiently and put my energy into creating a solution. It was time for a reminder that I’d been in the hot tub long enough.
(This is where it ties into community. Kinda.)
As many people do when they’re feeling down on themselves, I looked around to see if I could find some inspiration.
I took one glance at Twitter and felt worse.
Do we all really need to post so many #FollowFriday recommendations? Is Friday the only time you ever meet cool people? Think in terms of real life for a moment. When you meet somebody new and interesting, do you wait until the end of the month to introduce that person to other people you know? Of course not! You’re excited about 
the discovery and high on the “new person smell”. You want to share immediately! We talk about “authenticity” and then follow it up with behavior that is so unlike us. Can we try to stop? I’m trying to stop.
(This narrative is dragging on, I know. If you’re bored, look at the picture,make up names for the five ladies, then explain why the one to the left didn’t even try jumping. Leave your ideas in a comment.)
Twitter wasn’t doing much so I checked my email. Most were from Charlie Brown’s teacher. You know, “waa waaa waa“. Except for one. It was from a friend I hadn’t spoken with in months. Her note was simple and I include part of it with her permission:
“Dude, I read your blog. I found it. Google knows all. Mwuaahaha. Just one question: when did you start writing second drafts? It’s weird to read your ‘edited’ voice. For example, when you posted about Christoph dying, did you really need to include the list about different types of mentors? Do you even want the readers who only have time to read a list? I dunno. I think if you started posting like you write letters, it’d be more fun. Your letters are awesome and you never put bullets in them. Maybe people won’t like it. Perhaps they’ll love it. Just a thought. I figured I’d stop lurking and yell at you directly.”
The Celebration: That was enough to jolt me “out of the hot tub” as it were. She had no idea what I was going through or the situation I was in. She was simply touching base with a thoughtful question. She cared enough to connect and that made all the difference.
A part of me wonders if she’s right about the posts, at least on this blog. Would you, as a reader, prefer fewer list posts? Would you like to read more stories about crazy experiences I’ve had and what I learned from them? Would you, as my friend suggests, like it better if I sat down and wrote you all a letter?
I ask these questions with a smile on my face. I smile because I’ve been reminded, once again, of how important it is to reach out and touch people. Sometimes, I think we get so busy installing phone lines that we forget to actually make the calls. We get so caught up in making more connections that we forget to connect. I want to change that. We need to change that. We need to start setting the temperature in our communities instead of simply reacting to it. (If you were wondering, that was where community tied into the whole thing)
The Presentation:
Follow Friday…was yesterday and that’s cool. I’ve got my seven picks for you today. They were vibrant yesterday. Ezra, at minimum, is hung over today. Check them out anyhow. I think you’ll like what you find. They keep me standing. Perhaps you’ll find them helpful as well. Enjoy!
Blogger
-Susan Mazza-
“Responsibility is not about beating yourself up. If you are human you will at least occasionally get caught in the drift. It is what you do once you are awake that really matters because that is when you can choose to do something different (or not).” -What we can learn from FollowFriday
Personality
-Bill Nickerson-
Bill is an avid golfer intent on sharing his love for the game through thoughtful reflections and bright humor. He’s about a 30 handicap in golf but scores much better with his writing. Wondering how cutting firewood and golf are related? -Continue reading
Inspiration
-Senia Maymin-
“Go enjoy the sun in a new way. Find a day that is sunny. Go outside for ten minutes with the idea of enjoying the sun in a new way. What can you try? With your eyes closed? Sunning just the back of your neck for example? Dancing in the sun?” – 6 ways to do something differently
Community Builder
-Kathryn Jennex-
If you’ve had the opportunity to chat with Kathryn on Twitter, read her posts on community at Liz Strauss’s blog, or meet her in person, you already know the bright lady I’m glad to know. She’ll tell you what she thinks and never rest until she understands your perspective, too. The stuff good communities thrive on!
Artist/Musician
-Chris Blake-
Chris doesn’t just create music, he shares parts of his life. Friendly kindness, wry humor, and particularly good fun characterize the man I think you’d do well to know. I’m glad I do. Visit Chris’s Myspace for a free download of his new song “Happiness”
Tech
-Ezra Butler-
“I love living in Israel. It has successfully killed any chance of me having a non work-related social life. Take Yom Haatzamaut. I am invited to an extremely not tech BBQ. It is hosted in someone’s backyard in Jerusalem. I am off the radar.” Read more.
Wildcard
-Danny Brown/12for12k-
“If we all want change badly enough, we can make it happen. It may not be overnight, or in a few months, or even a year or more – but it can happen. The 12for12k Challenge offers a way to be part of this change. Change like stopping the sexual abuse of children; change like ending child hunger in the US; change that sees people with terminal illness die with dignity in their own home. We’d love you to be a part of that change too.”
Hi there! You’re one of 34 people who made it all the way to the end of this post! (or you just scrolled down looking for naughty pictures. Unfortunately, I’m terrible at networking with people who post naughty pictures) If you’re wondering what you’re supposed to comment on, here’s a quick review:
- How weird it is that I gushed on about having a bad day.
- Whether you like list posts or would prefer more narrative.
- Names for the 5 ladies in pink w/ explanation for grounded woman.
- How you’re doing. Actually, just answer this. I want to know.
That’s it. Thanks for being a part of all this. I owe you a case of haribo gummy bears.
I am fine.
I am thankful for you.
I am appreciateive that you shared you, too, have days filled with doubt.
I am voting for you writing what’s in your heart.
I am trying to do more!list!posts! for a site which rhymes with Shahoo schmine.
I am finding lists aren’t in my hear.
I am envious of your friend receiving aforementioned letters.
I am also a fan of may of the people whom you mentioned above.
I am starting to avoid twitter on fridays with the #followfridays & the RT of other people’s lists (???).
I am done with my comment.
You write a very excellent comment, Carla. I especially like your use of exclamation points. I don’t get how that rhymes. Yahoo? Your site?
I think I’ll shy away from long narratives because I get bored of writing them. I get to tell enough crazy stories over at The Dating Papers.
Feel free to hit me up with one of your posts sometime and I’ll show you how to chop it into bitses.
She jumped first.
Les! I think you might be right! I see we got bored at about the same time. =) The suggested users are pretty cool people though.
I just love your posts & your tweets. Does that cover all the questions?
Except the ladies – I don’t have names for all of them, but I can explain the grounded woman. She’s over 50 and she knows that the landing will be painful.
Thanks for sharing!
PS – I’m doing great!
I’m glad you’re well! Yes, I hear that landings get more painful over time. So long as the mind stays nimble I suppose I won’t mind jumping a little less in years to come.
=)
You touched on a lot of things I wonder about myself when it comes to writing blog posts. Most people would say “be yourself,” but that might not make you any more readable. We write to communicate something, but putting that communication out there implies a desire for interaction, and when we don’t get it, we can become disheartened. Still, I’m not sure I wouldn’t advise “be yourself,” anyway. What else can you be?
I’m a fan of shorter posts, but don’t mind reading longer if the writing is good. Don’t mind lists as long as they’re fleshed out. What I really hate is posts that explore a topic through questions and then end telling you that you need to buy something to get the answers. Those always make me feel like a sucker and no one likes that.
I don’t mind people talking about having a bad day if they share something useful they got out of it.
Who the hell are the ladies in Pink?
I’ve started limiting my #followfriday recs to 5 people – one at a time – with a reason to follow each. I find #followfriday useful, but hate the tweets with nothing but a list of twitter IDs. It’s not the last Friday in the world, people; you can recommend others NEXT Friday!
I like your suggestions for follows – already follow some and will check out the others.
How I am – complicated, as usual. Some parts very good. Others very not so good. I spend most of my time in the present, but find the future sometimes tunnels into my yard like a gopher with irritating results. It’s troublesome and efforts at control are not always satisfactory. I remain an optimist, though, for the future must someday become the present, then move into the past.
I think my friend was coming from the perspective of rarely reading things online and knowing me more through rambling letters than concisely-edited text. I’d laugh out loud if I caught myself writing letters like I blog. Perhaps I should try it?
Hmm. Yes, I know what you mean. I don’t do a lot of selling. We’ll see what the future brings but I’m really getting a kick out of the conversations for now.
The ladies in pink are the ones in the second photo. It was just a continuation of an earlier aside. No worries.
I echo your sentiment on FF. Many people think that the more usernames they tweet, the more will recommend them in return. It turns into a vicious little circle and we all share the pain. I’m not on Twitter much on Fridays anymore.
I know what you mean about the gopher. I’m usually very, very good about keeping an even keel and dealing with setbacks. Yesterdays wasn’t even something big. It was stupid. Stupid enough to bother me. And I let it bother me. Oh, boy, did I! I think every time we’re lucky enough to cross paths with somebody who truly believes in us and the potential we have…we should do everything in our power to treasure them. They offer powerful reminders of faith during times of need and strong hands of friendship when we need a friend to fly with.
Perhaps that gopher will bring you something nice. Perhaps some money. A gopher with a gift card? =)
Janice, Gracie, Bess, Lucy and Wilma — and Janice isn’t jumping because she’s just had her cast removed. Standing on one leg is the best she can do for now.
I’m honoured to be included on your list this week. I have to heartily agree with your comments on Kathryn. She’s a great lady to connect with. That leaves me 5 to look at this week, so it’s a bit easier than last week!
I’ve been busy and trying to keep up with things off line so I’ve not been able to connect as much as I would like to on line, but the black flies have begun and the mosquitoes aren’t far behind, so outdoor stuff will be cut back a bit now.
Keep up the gushing. It’s therapeutic for the writer and the reader. If you ever study the Psalms you’ll see that they are full of gushing emotions. Wallowing in self-doubt and discouragement is fine provided you’re wallowing towards finding the way out. I’m glad that you’ve found the exit!
And keep the naughty pictures to a minimum!
I thought of you the other day when The Lion responded to one of my Tweets. Very cool that he’s healthier now and back in the game.
I think that’s about as gushy as I’ll get. I get to rant and rave a bit over at PrimalStride so I’ll keep it classy here. =)
Black flies…I have terrible memories of spreading barkmulch as a teenager and trying to work in spite of the clouds of flies that were drawn to the heat rising from the mulch. Memories to go with chopping wood, eh?
Be good to yourself!
Gushing is good. Gushing stops dams from building up and only beavers really like dams.
I was going to go with the “she jumped first” approach but Les beat me to it. (Hey, Les, are you the guy that was in the Bay City Rollers? That would be so cool!). So, instead I’ll say she’s not quite grasped the concept of “money shot”.
Seth, my man, I like the way you write and how you write. Lists, non-lists, edits, non-edits, video, strange images, mind freak stuff – it’s all good, fella. You never ever bore. Not many people have that skill. You do.
Write on.
I’m glad I don’t know any beavers then? hehe.
You’ve got me wondering about Les now, too. Hopefully he’ll swing by again.
Thanks for the support, man. It’s always appreciated. Mind freak stuff? Now we’re talking! =)
*Can’t believe he read the whole thing*
Nice post, Seth. Been lurking for a while, but haven’t left a comment yet. It was long, but I never mind reading anything lengthy as long as the writing is good and the content is engaging. Which, from what I’ve seen so far, yours is.
The women in the picture, starting from left, are named Marie, Julie, Tina, Shelly, and Jasmine. Marie isn’t jumping because she is posing for a feature shot on Jumproper’s Weekly (they’re going to Photoshop the rope in later).
I’m doing fine. Just finished the 3rd week of writing my first real blog/site, and am pleased with the results. It feels good to be focusing on other people’s stories, and not trying to make any money. I do enough work at work, and this is fun.
Thanks for the thoughts!
Nate St. Pierre
It wasn’t THAT long. The recommendations added a bit. =)
I hadn’t thought about the magazine. Should have waited to get the completed photo.
Checked out the blog. Great work! Fixed-width themes will make your life a bit easier but that matters little. Your content is fantastic. Well done, sir!
Seth,
Oh please write like you write. I prefer reading to skimming, and you grab my attention and make me read.
The woman on the left is me. She wants to be part of the group, but is always too early or too late. She’s trying. She looks pretty cool, and she feels great. Frankly, that’s enough.
About the follow friday thing – Suzemuse and I do the #follow2friday. Just put down two people you follow and WHY. Then I might enjoy checking their bios and seeing if I want to follow or not. Steve Woodruff writes a Friday blog post about one person he follows (and why). I wrote one of those at http://debworks.blogspot.com/2009/05/twitter-follow2friday-drinking-wine.html.
So tell me, is this letter writing style working for you as a reader?
Thanks! @debworks
I will! =)
You know what? That is an absolutely enlightened position to take. Even if her timing’s off a bit she still seems to be having fun. That matters a LOT!
I like the follow2friday idea. I think that keeps things simple and noise-free. I Hope more pick up on it.
Hmm, no. Letter writing style seems to work best when you are writing for a reader you know intimately. Inside jokes don’t work well on a blog. I’ll stick with what I’ve been doing format-wise but it was a solid reminder to not edit my voice out of things.
Thank you!
You know, I kinda like the letter-writing style for comments. I’ve rather fallen into it a bit lately and I like it. When readers can count on you to reply to their comments, the format seems to change. I find it delightful and invigorating.
I’m so rude!!!
Thank you for feeling I’m worth sharing, I really appreciate it fella.
And thank you for introducing me to a couple of people I never knew about before. THAT’s better than any one line name-check.
You’re not worth sharing, Danny. I was doing it for the kids. The kids need the help and 12for12k is an interesting way to help a lot of people.
You’re just a grumpy Canadian.
=)
I like bullets, forces you to be concise and wisdom comes from constraints. But I like Haribo even more. Good one.
Playing catch-up…but a few points:
*I didn’t name the women…but they made me think of the Golden Girls, which made me think of Bea Arthur, and a little sad. (good idea, totally grabbed my attention)
*Twitter depresses me, but I try to stick around because through the noise, I find voices I want to hear.
*When you wrote about Christoph my heart broke for you…but it was what you wanted to share at the time. No wrong way to share grief.
*You can still ramble on with bullet points. I like it when you ramble. Please don’t stop.
*I’m doing well. I have a lot to be grateful for right now, and I’m sort of marinating in that feeling.
I like the way you write, and I like the way you think.
So, if you don’t mind I’m going to add you to my twitter.
I am xxine
Christine