In your push for success, have you enlisted the help of at least one mentor? I’m not talking about a role model, although a great mentor can be one. A mentor is an accomplished individual you go to for advice, conversation, and guidance on your path to success.
There are three primary mentorship styles:
- The Guide – has walked the same path to success that you wish to take. The Guide helps you move beyond the simple steps of the physical to a place where you can see the entire journey as The Guide does. Many of the how-to books on success are written by The Guide because, of all the mentors, he is best at explaining a journey in its entirety.
- The Critic – has followed a very specific path to success but is most interested in critiquing and helping you improve your current work. Many of The Critic’s understudies feel berated, hated, and singled out for criticism at times. Thick skin and a passion for achieving the best possible results are a must for any upstart hoping to learn a lot from The Critic. When success finally comes and The Critic says “nicely done”, that simple acknowledgement often means as much as the success itself.
- The Cheerleader – is a seemingly inexhaustible source of encouraging words and positive reinforcement. With an eye for helping you achieve your best through hard work and belief in yourself, The Cheerleader often shies away from talking about personal success in favor of discussing your projects. The Cheerleader is most helpful after recent failures when a focus on the positive is the quickest way to get you back on your feet.
One of my mentors, Christoph, was a blend of all three. He took the time and interest to show me, a kid fresh off the farm, how to jump into a project feet-first and come out on top. He took each of my successes and cut away the triumphant glow to reveal how I could improve for the next try. He expected the best from me and when I triumphed he was first in line to celebrate. Instead of handing me a map and telling me to follow it out of the “forest” to success, he taught me to survive as I blazed my own trail.
Christoph died this week at the age of 44.
I cannot bring him back. I cannot magically breathe life into his body and inspire him to continue living with the same words he used years ago to fuel me with hope. I cannot help but wish I’d sent that letter, gone for that visit, or at least made it crystal clear how much I appreciate his influence. It’s so very easy to forget the human fragility of those we deeply admire because they are the strong ones who pick us up when we fall.
I know I forgot.
It’s hard to express how deeply I regret it.
My challenge to you is this: Take a few minutes this week to write a note, send a simple gift, or make a phone call to thank a mentor who has made a difference in your life. Turn a “what if” into an “I’m glad I did” and show some appreciation for the people who helped you get to where you are. You won’t regret it. I promise.
photo credit: g.naharro
Oh Seth- I’m so proud of you. My heart still aches for you, but this truly is a beautiful tribute.
Sometimes there really aren’t words that seem “right,” but I hope you can feel my warm wishes from a couple thousand miles away. (((hug)))
Thanks, Michelle!
If these remarks of mine serve to influence just a few people to show appreciation to their mentors, it’s all worth it.
Christoph is gone but there are many people still with us who deserve our sincere thanks. I say, let’s give it to them!
Sorry to hear about Christoph, Seth. This post was a beautiful tribute to him and an excellent eye-opener for us to say thanks, in some way, to those who really make a difference in our lives.
Thanks, Anna. I’m certain you don’t need much eye-opening when it comes to showing gratefulness. You’re an inspiration in that area!
Seth,
I had a feeling something was different this week.
This is a wonderful tribute to your mentor and friend. Thanks for sharing with us.
I know you’re kicking yourself for forgetting, but I truly hope you can find peace and give yourself a pass.
You are having a tremendous impact on the world around you, including yours truly. I think Christoph knows that and he is proud.
Look up, look around – whatever you believe. Say what you wanted to say, or might have said and know that he knows that too.
All the best,
Jim
Hi Jim,
I don’t ever want to find so much peace that I let this happen again. You know?
Thanks for your kind words. I’m delighted to have been of any help to you in your journey!
This was a great way to say thank you to him and for him; and to expand on your very important reminder to us all, to say thank you to all people in our lives, and thank you for them, too. A gratitude kind of thing.
Yes, Diane, a gratitude kind of thing! It’s so easy to forget. Sometimes, when we do forget, it comes back to bite us.
Seth – so sorry to hear about your loss! And thank you for the reminder…sending emails and notes now.
You, sir, are a man of action! It’s one thing to be reminded of something…quite another to take it the next step and complete an action. Thank you for your kind words. I’m grateful.
Seth,
This is an awesome post and I mean that with the greatest respect, under the circumstances it was written in.
It’s weird how we can get caught up in the future and forget the now, and who or what shaped the present. Sometimes we do need to step back and say “Thank you.”
I actually did just what you encourage earlier this week – someone who has really made me become a far sharper thinker than I probably ever was. It’s not a wonderful gift, but I think the person will really appreciate it and know where it’s coming from.
And that’s all I or anyone can ask.
Thanks for sharing this, Seth – something tells me you’re already an incredible mentor to so many already.
Thanks, Danny!
You’re so very right. We do get caught up and forget the string of events that brought us to the knot we’re so desperately trying to tie at the moment.
I’m glad you’ve already taken the time to say thank you to the people who have influenced you in positive ways. Danny, it IS a wonderful gift because it reflects that you care, that you remember, and that you have the will to act!
A beautiful tribute Seth. And an important reminder for all of us to leave nothing left unsaid to the people we love and have made a difference for us. I accept your challenge and am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing about Christoph so we too can learn from his legacy.
Thanks, Susan!
I’m sure your expressions of gratitude have been a delight to the people who have given you so much! That’s leadership! =)
My Dearest Seth,
Thank you for taking the time to share this while you’re in the midst of grieving/celebrating your dear friend and mentor, Christoph.
Please be assured that his mentoring lives beyond your heart into mine, as I very much consider you my mentor. That you have passed on the many things you have learned not only to me but to so many others is a way for Christoph to live on! Of this I am certain.
Sending you great love, thoughts and prayers.
Your friend always,
Henie
“What truly matters is the minute we’re standing on!” ~Henie~
Henie,
You always know how to make a smile where I’ve not expected one. Thank you! =)
Thank you for your kind words.
btw, it’s absolutely amazing that you carry your own quotes instead of looking for others. That’s the way! =) Ping pong balls and vintage tequila are in our future!
Oh… I’m sad for you. ;-( If I were closed I’d give you a huge [not naughty] hug. XXOO
Thanks, Susie!
I appreciate the *not* naughty hug. I’m afraid I’ll never be enough of a cowboy to suit you. =)
Thank you for the challenge Seth. I am sorry for your loss but your challenge passed on some of Christoph’s wisdom to people he did not ever meet.
I just wrote an email to my business partner thanking her for her support and mentoring – something I would not have done without this prompting.
Thanks again and many Blessings to you
Alex
Alex, that’s great news! I’m sure she’ll be grateful.
If I can manage to pass on even half of the things I’ve learned from the brilliant people I’ve been lucky to connect with, I’ll be happy.
Thanks for your kind words. Your action is an inspiration. =)
Sorry for your loss Seth, losing a mentor is like an earthquake that no one else feels. And many people don’t understand, but it is very hard. My own dear one has been ill for awhile, and every time I get to talk to her I tell her how I feel about her, just to remind her.
I’m sure this post would’ve made Christoph proud of you [although I bet he was already].
Sending enormous virtual hugs.
Yes indeed, I am very grateful and appreciative that Alex took the time to write me the email thanking me for my support and mentoring. I too have written to him thanking him for all his wonderful support and guidance.
And Seth, thank you so much for your inspiration and consciousness you created around the importance of expressing how we feel about important people in our lives – that motivated us to “act” now…
I too am very sorry for your loss. Christoph will always be in your heart. The measure of a person is in the impact they have on others’ lives…
Thank you. Be Blessed…
Kathy
I stumbled upon you from twitter and I’m so glad I did. Your words about a mentor touched me in that I have one who is an angel and I will thank her for what a difference she is making in my business and personal life.
So, while I’m sorry for your loss, your loss has inspired me and others to not forget the people who make a difference in our lives.
Cheers,
John Young
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