The Confession: I am blessed to know some of the coolest people alive. (That’s not the confession) However, in place of writing my Connected Communities post yesterday morning, I wallowed in self-doubt and discouragement. (That’s the confession) Stay with me, there’s a point to all this. 

In the movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Cate Blanchett is hit by a car. The narrator recounts all the mindless actions leading up the the accident. With each event, he explains how a slight alteration would stop the accident from ever happening.

I played the narrator in my own mind. But hindsight is a dangerous thing. It’s very much like a hot tub. If you stay in for too long, you lose the health benefits and have only a sick stomach and headache to show for your effort. I needed to recognize that I’d studied the failure sufficiently and put my energy into creating a solution. It was time for a reminder that I’d been in the hot tub long enough. 

(This is where it ties into community. Kinda.) 

As many people do when they’re feeling down on themselves, I looked around to see if I could find some inspiration.

I took one glance at Twitter and felt worse.

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In your push for success, have you enlisted the help of at least one mentor? I’m not talking about a role model, although a great mentor can be one. A mentor is an accomplished individual you go to for advice, conversation, and guidance on your path to success.

There are three primary mentorship styles: 

1. The Guide – has walked the same path to success that you wish to take. The Guide helps you move beyond the simple steps of the physical to a place where you can see the entire journey as The Guide does. Many of the how-to books on success are written by The Guide because, of all the mentors, he is best at explaining a journey in its entirety. 
    
2. The Critic – has followed a very specific path to success but is most interested in critiquing and helping you improve your current work. Many of The Critic’s understudies feel berated, hated, and singled out for criticism at times. Thick skin and a passion for achieving the best possible results are a must for any upstart hoping to learn a lot from The Critic. When success finally comes and The Critic says “nicely done”, that simple acknowledgement often means as much as the success itself. 
    
3. The Cheerleader – is a seemingly inexhaustible source of encouraging words and positive reinforcement. With an eye for helping you achieve your best through hard work and belief in yourself, The Cheerleader often shies away from talking about personal success in favor of discussing your projects. The Cheerleader is most helpful after recent failures when a focus on the positive is the quickest way to get you back on your feet. 

One of my mentors, Christoph, was a blend of all three. He took the time and interest to show me, a kid fresh off the farm, how to jump into a project feet-first and come out on top. He took each of my successes and cut away the triumphant glow to reveal how I could improve for the next try. He expected the best from me and when I triumphed he was first in line to celebrate. Instead of handing me a map and telling me to follow it out of the “forest” to success, he taught me to survive as I blazed my own trail. 

Christoph died this week at the age of 44. 

I cannot bring him back. I cannot magically breathe life into his body and inspire him to continue living with the same words he used years ago to fuel me with hope. I cannot help but wish I’d sent that letter, gone for that visit, or at least made it crystal clear how much I appreciate his influence. It’s so very easy to forget the human fragility of those we deeply admire because they are the strong ones who pick us up when we fall.

I know I forgot. 

It’s hard to express how deeply I regret it. 

My challenge to you is this: Take a few minutes this week to write a note, send a simple gift, or make a phone call to thank a mentor who has made a difference in your life. Turn a “what if” into an “I’m glad I did” and show some appreciation for the people who helped you get to where you are. You won’t regret it. I promise.

photo credit: g.naharro