How to maximize retweets:

Step 1: Say, do, or share something remarkable.

Step 2: People will then remark upon what you said, did, or shared.

Step 3: Count all the remarks and gloat over how many you have.

You can observe how remarks relate to remarkability in the professional flow chart below:
That’s all there is to it! Note that combining kittens (always remarkable–did you know there are THREE kittens just in this post?) with a flowchart (multiplies expert points by 300%) creates a highly remarkable presentation.

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It’s been 3 months since United Airlines was dragged into social media. There are hundreds of social media sites a big brand could use to connect with customers. Twitter, as the real-time queen of social media, is a good place to look for evidence of social media savvy and evolution.

Here’s a current snapshot of @UnitedAirlines:

“Twanksgiving Tware” says a lot about where United is with their understanding of how Twitter works. I feel for them like I feel for the baby boomer who uses ancient surfer lingo in attempts to connect with today’s youth. It’s awkward.

And what about the page design? If United Airlines offered deals on deep-sea expeditions through their Twitter page, the gradient would make sense. The logo hesitantly bobs above the heavily-cropped portion of an airplane. If you breathe deeply, you get a hint of mothballs as you

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I learned not to roll my eyes at the tender age of 8:

Seth’s Mother: “Seth, go clean your room.”
8 Year-old Seth: *rolls eyes* “Oookay.”
Seth’s Mother: “Don’t roll your eyes. It’s disrespectful.”
8 Year-old Seth: “What if there was a mosquito flying in circles and I wasn’t rolling my eyes at all?”
Seth’s Mother: “Then I suggest you get the mosquito to help you clean your room.”

So it is with no little trepidation that I proceed to share with you what amounts to an admission that I didn’t learn that lesson from my mother. I still roll my eyes. I roll them vigorously at the following:

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There’s an entire set of photos lovingly posted to Flickr by employees at the 87th & Sunset Starbucks location in Miami Florida. Here’s a sample:

The reason for the photos of customers? (view them here) To quote the poster:

We get a lot of skanky hoe types around these parts; it is Miami.

The rest of the photo set isn’t much better. Beneath a photo of a badly-parked SUV:

I took this photo for all the people who think the stereotype of SUV-driving soccermoms who have no regard for their fellow human is a stereotype at all. Believe me, I work at Starbucks. I see them every day.

Classy move, Starbucks.

Starbucks has a bunch of Twitter followers but very little in the way of an aggressively vibrant social media presence. Searching major social media platforms and solving issues that tarnish your brand is one of the most important parts of a corporate social media effort.

Starbucks fails at this.

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I don’t think we can classify Twitter interactions, no matter how frequently they take place or the information shared through them, as friendship.

Why? Because friendships require context. Twitter doesn’t allow for context.

Without context we are left with nothing but the dancing shadows of our own unrealistic expectations.

What’s your favorite way to add context?

photo: radioher

Are We Friends On Twitter?

The facts are in. Teens don’t tweet. But why, wonder millions already afflicted by Twitter, are so many youngsters immune to the plague? I did a bit of market research (read: spent time with my 17 year-old brother and his friends) and unearthed some surprising results. Here, in the words of those blessed with the power to spurn the blue bird’s beak, why teens don’t tweet:

What’s your anti-Twitter?

Why teens don’t Tweet

photo credits: becksoutloud, ribena wrath, alias grace, balladist, lauren marek. didier lg, alias grace

“Twitter is what you make of it.”

I hear the phrase daily from new users. Of course, those masticating on their new-found Twitter treat are right. I hate to say it, but they are. Speaking of hating newfinders, why do we so often resent people who discover something long after we’ve swum in its delights? Shouldn’t we gladly welcome them?

As we welcome all the new users and celebrate their enthusiasm, I’d like to ask you something:

What are you making of Twitter?

I get a kick out of asking questions on Twitter. (Facebookers and Myspacers, you’re lovely people but most of you have 12-36hr response times. Sorry, but I’m dealing with a TV-dinner-shaped attention span here.)

Sunday evening I thought it’d be a wondrous time to ask the brilliant minds on Twitter a thoughtful question: (I thought it was, at least.)

Imagine what your answer would be to my question. Do you have a 140-character response fixed in your mind? Excellent!

Rick Wolff took the time to craft the following:

I’m pretty certain you didn’t see that one coming. I know I didn’t.

That’s the beauty of Twitter. If you’ve not used the service before, imagine what it’d be like if every text message you sent was copied to every one of your phone contacts. You are also copied on every text they send. That’s Twitter. It’s mayhem. Like most mayhem involving people, the results are unreliable and the rubbish smells enough to make the beauty hard to swallow at times.

That is, until a complete stranger tells you that your brain is a fish tank.

If my brain is a fish tank and my ideas are fish that swim around in it, I have a lot of questions to answer.

• Am I careful to change the water regularly so my ideas stay healthy and clearly defined?
• Do I keep many tiny fish or do just a few big fish that eat everything in their path?
• Should I give my fish away, keep them for myself, or sell them to the highest bidder?

When somebody tells you your brain is a fish tank, questions like that just come up naturally.

Have you tried asking thoughtful questions on Twitter or other social media platforms? You probably won’t receive thousands of retweets, likes, thumbs-up, etc. But the responses you do get will often be thoughtful, insightful, and sometimes downright awesome. Give it a try!

Is there something you’ve been thinking about that you’d like my take on? Drop me a question in a comment. I look forward to our conversation!

Click to feed the Twitter fish!

photo: alan stoddard